Oh No! She's Been Given A Webpage!

I've never understood baseball. That's not my topic, though, I just thought I'd like to say it. I mean dogs can chase balls around, I don't need to see people doing the same thing and pay to see it. Would you pay a poodle to play catch? I certainly hope not.

Another thing - men. The funny thing about those creatures is that when they hear the words, 'typical male' they freeze up. In fact, they'll go so far as to say; 'I' m not a typical male.' Don't they realise that by saying that, they only shove their foot in that little bit further? Every guy out there thinks he is not a typical male, so by saying, 'I'm not a typical male' he's being a typical male. There's no escaping it, fellas!

Makeup. Yes, that redundant object. You can't get a job without it. You show up for an interview with no makeup on, and you get shunned because your 'personal grooming requires work'. (Shameful!) People, as long as your hair is brushed, face is washed, teeth are brushed, what's the big deal?

I think employment and make up are related. You cannot have one without the other if you're a woman. You need employment to pay for your make up, you need make up to get the job in the first place, and if you don't wear it, basically, you get sacked. Too much emphasis is placed on makeup.

There was a point to this, people. The point is that people do not need to wear make up! (Let's face it, you spend hours in the bathroom to put makeup on, to make it look like you're not wearing make up. I mean, where's the point in that?)

Of course, wearing make up is optional. NOT! The education system, people, the education system! is telling high school girls that make up is an essential part of personal grooming! Honestly! If this keeps on, I mean, Revlon and Maybeline will own the world in a few years time!

Personally, I'd enjoy the freedom of being a typical male. Some of these guys don't even have to brush their hair to look good. Yep, being a guy would be good. If I were a guy, girls would be falling over their feet for me. Why? Because I 'm kind, smart and funny. If you're a guy, it doesn't matter if you're ugly as long as you've got a great personality.

For girls however, you've got to be attractive and have a great personality to get noticed. This is stupid, in my opinion. For Pete's sake, what kind of a jam would we be in if men actually started looking past appearances? Oh, my goodness, we might be someone higher on the social and intellectual ladder!

Although, with some of these guys we've got as world leaders, I'm surprised we've made it past the first rung of the evolutionary ladder! Thousands and thousands of years with men blundering into petty feuds. It's absolutely shameful to look at our history! If I were ruling the world, I'd straighten everything out, mark my words. I'd like to see more women ruling, though. Kick all the guys out and give us a go.

Can you believe there are pigs out there who still believe women belong in the home? After the many years and battles for women's liberation, these men are just bulldozing through the facts with their heads down and their eyes shut!

Education is still encouraging women to get jobs such as secretarial duties and hairdressers and nurses - jobs that they hope the girls will give up when they get married and become housewives. Churches are brainwashing girls that their most forfilling job in life is matrimony and motherhood.

There is more to life, people! What bothers me, is the ignorance these two systems show towards the women's liberation movement. We can do anything, really. Look at what we've already done - we've gone to the moon, climbed the highest mountain, dived to the deepest depths of the ocean, fought in wars for our countries, become masters of art, literature and numeracy and science, while still managing to have dinner cooked by seven!

If I choose to get married, I swear, I will get a divorce if the husband expects me to cook his meals and clean up after him. I mean, I am not going to mother a grown man! They're big boys, they can do most of it themselves, I mean, it's not that hard, how challenging can it be?

I think I might get sterylized. I do not want kids. Okay, I'll be honest. If I get sterylized, it will be out of spite - I'm tired of being told 'Oh, when you have kids...' Blah, blah, blah. Though, if I were not told that, maybe I'd still not want children. Hey, if I'm feeling maternal in a few years - get a dog!

Kids - I hate them. I even hated kids when I was a kid. I would not be a good mother. In fact, I wouldn't even be a good girlfriend! Honestly, I think I'm so unsympathetic and selfish! (I really do!) Not to mention cold and 'finds difficulty in expressing emotions and feelings to other people' (that was on my grade three report card!)

Girls who think that they must have a boyfriend are crazy. They were the kids who must have that toy , because all the other kids on the block had it. Personally, I find beling alone is comforting. Although, I'd have to be honest, it's nice to have someone to sniffle on when it's that time of the month!

Oh well, that's my one thousand words (count them, I dare you!) for the moment. My words of wisdom. Maybe I'll pass them onto my dog when I die.

I'd like to thank Australia, for being there under my feet, without which, I'd be in the Pacific by now. I'd also like to thank the Spice Girls for their beautiful music and their great message - GIRL POWER! And finally, I'd like to thank the Catholic Church for inventing the rhythm method - wihout which I wouldn't be here!